So, who am I?
How did I end up here?
I originate from Hong Kong - I migrated to UK when I was 9 along with my mum and 2 brothers.
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Dad stayed in HK because of work and to look after grandparents.
My mum gave up her job as Head of English at a prestigious school to look after and provide for us 3 kids - for this I am forever grateful. Without her dedication, persistence, and unconditional love and support, I would not be where I am now.
More about my story..
Growing up in a tiny historical town in UK was not easy. The culture, the language, the society and people - it was all so different from the city life I was used to. Moreover, most people in the town had never seen a Chinese person before, so most kids gawped at me like I was an alien.
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Soon it became apparent that I was…different. I was reading only books for 5-6 years olds at the age of 11 because my English was so bad. I still remember vividly the looks and sneers I had from my peers as I asked them how to spell "hello". Even though my English was already top of class in HK, it was no match for others at the same age in UK. It didn’t help that I was SO conscious about being Chinese that I went to school nervous every day, and sitting at the table with the "cool and clever" kids made me forget even a simple "hello".
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I learnt fast though. Within the year I was fluent in English, complete with English accent. I updated my wardrobe to match, and I worked hard on forgetting my roots…just so I could hide and fit in. I even considered dying my hair blonde…
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The problem came when I went back to HK during the summer - when I couldn't communicate with my dearly beloved Grandma. She didn't speak English and I couldn't speak Chinese, and it pained me so much to not being able to converse even in the most simple way. I could understand everything but I didn't know how to reply and express myself in a way that she could understand. I hid even further behind my guilt and shame, and retreated completely into myself. I became so self-conscious that I couldn't bring myself to speak to new people. I bent backwards to fit in with other people's expectations of me. I couldn't go anywhere alone without the fear of being judged a loner.
Let's fast forward
Fast forward 20+ years - at the age of 30-31, I was insecure, had zero confidence, and was desperate for love.
Combined with a strained romantic relationship and a manipulative manager, I was pushed over the edge into depression.
"You speak like a sledgehammer"
"You have no brand"
"Don't try to negotiate your salary, because you're so not worth it"
This was when I hit rock bottom. I questioned my existence. I questioned what happiness meant. I questioned my worth, my looks, my everything.
Luckily for me, the only way was UP.
Through support of incredible friends, I began to get a glimpse of light and hope.
The first glimpse of colour was a beautiful salad that my friend had prepared for me. It was the 1st time I'd ever been to hers, and so it was unexpected. I still remember vividly the wooden boat bowl filled with salad and I looked at it in awe as if it’s the 1st time I’ve ever seen red, green, yellow, orange. She talked to me about the law of attraction, and introduced to me The Secret.
Through watching some of that on Youtube, I began to listen to motivational speakers day in, day out – Tony Robbins, Les Brown, Mel Robbins, Jim Rohn, Marissa Peer, Lisa Nichols. These were my gurus, my saviours, and my guide. They would be the 1st thing I listened to as I opened my eyes, and the last thing I listened to before bed.
... and I started to make the positive changes I needed.
With the amazing support I had from friends, I was soon brave enough to go on my 1st ever trip alone – to London – where I attend London Fashion Show Feb 2019.
I still remember being so nervous as I got out of the safety of my car, and walked towards the train station super early in the morning. On the train, I kept to myself, trying hard to look as casual and cool as possible.
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As I approached the entrance to the show, I almost turned around and walked away. I’d already dressed in the most fashionable items of clothing I owned, but I was STILL not as fashionable as the other girls there. Tall, slim, perfectly made up, looking chic – I did not fit in! But I convinced myself to be brave and go anyway. Thank goodness I did.
I sat there in anticipation, not really knowing what to expect. As the show was about to start, the lights dimmed. Suddenly, the stage burst into a blinding range of colour and bright lights, music blaring out from the speakers behind me. This, was the real moment of magic. This was the moment when I felt like a phoenix, rising from the ashes of my negative thoughts, transforming me into a brand new me, and from that moment onwards nobody’s judgement could stop me from doing what I want to do. This moment made me believe that life is full of colours and magic.
I finally reached my turning point...
Looking to the future
Since that day, I dedicated every day of my life in personal development, learning from the best, completing programme after programme. I transformed myself from one of the most shy people into a public speaker, a podcast host, a coach.
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Throughout this journey, there have been so many highs and lows – there’s even been several dips back into the brink of depression and anxiety attacks, but the tools I have now always bring me safely back into my reality of abundance, joy, and love.
I learnt how to navigate around negative emotions, how to manage my relationships, how to live true to my values, and mastered the art of self-love. Most important of all, I recreated myself – so I can embrace my roots, stand tall, and be my truly authentic self.
I am so passionate about sharing everything that I know with the world, because I truly believe that every person deserves to live their dream lives.
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If I can do it, everyone can do it too.